The Opposite Blessing

gender roles and family life

       If opposite gender roles are so necessary, why have they become so confused?  That’s the ultimate question for today’s discussion.  Let’s start here. This earth we live on is full of opposites.  Light and darkness, cold and warm, day and night, land and sea, good and bad, joy and sorrow, male and female, soft and hard.  It is the natural order of things.

        Next think of personalities and dispositions of individuals.  Lauers (2018, p. 55-57) review that humans have so many similar basic needs, males and females.  Both need survival skills, self-esteem, intimacy and growth in all areas of life. Both feel a full spectrum of emotion, but generally manifest it differently. Both men and women have a desire for sexuality and to be understood and loved. 

        The differences in men and women have been a topic of discussion, misunderstood over the ages. Generally, but not absolutely, men are more aggressive, competitive and spatially aware.  Women usually are less aggressive, cooperative and aware of relationship orientation for sense of direction.  It is interesting to view the special report by John Stossel about the differences in men and women and even differences in infant baby boys and girls, “Men and Women and the Sex Difference.”  The toy industry has done extensive research on trying to sell toys that are typically thought to be “boy toys” and “girl toys” to the opposite gender to double their sales.  But even with millions of dollars in advertising the boys & girls didn’t go for it.  When Toys R Us changed their stores to a gender-neutral layout, they were out of business in one year. So, there are some differences that are real and necessary for the propagation of life and the care and nurturing and providing for people who are in families…. Every human being. 

        So how do you learn to appreciate the opposite sex without driving each other crazy? There are bunches of books written to guide men and women how to understand and complement each other.  But the most important person for you to understand of the opposite gender is your own spouse.  Here are a few resources you can use as a guide, but each spouses attitude is the most important.  That attitude involves wanting to listen to each other, deciding to be patient and learn together how to become “we” instead of “me” and “me”. 

In marriage ME + ME = 0, a big fat zero!  WE + WE = ¥, limitless possibilities.

It’s a win-win equation!

Some good resources are: “Beyond the Myth of Marital Happiness” by Fowers, “Take Back Your Marriage” by Doherty, “Marriage Fitness” by Fertel, and “Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage” by Goddard. 

One of my favorite quotes is from Henry B. Eyring,

“A man and his wife learn to be one (WE) by using their similarities to understand

each other and their differences to complement each other in 

serving one another.”

All social science studies point to the truth that both children and parents develop far better outcomes with both a mother and a father in the home, even when some strife exists.  Statics show that the number one way to get out of poverty in America is to: have a dad, avoid pre-marital sex, finish high school and get a job.  Having a dad and mom with a good relationship for a child’s lifetime is the most important influence in a person’s life. 

Challenge for the week:  Take a step back and notice how the qualities of the opposite gender bless your life.  Find a way to show appreciation to a father, mother, husband, wife or sibling for the specific things they add to your life as a man or woman.