Family, Your Choice
“Divorce is not the biggest threat to marriage. Discouragement is.”
Family Life is the School Where We Learn Life’s Lessons
SAVVY CONSUMER OF FAMILY SCIENCE
Hi my blog friends. Today I want to share a few highlights to review what has been shared this semester. First, the most important thing about family relationships is to realize that family is the school where we learn life’s most important lessons. Each of us chooses how diligently we want to keep learning and applying growth, that will improve and strengthen our own family. But we have to choose. We can choose to be learners; we can choose to be patient and kind while allowing the others in our family to learn as well. There are particular skills that can help a family grow and function well amid good times and trials. You can begin at any time, whatever stage of life you are in.
Second, there is no perfect family! Surprise! Every family has unique trials, strengths and weaknesses. So, you are probably doing much better than you realize. Count all the good things about each person in your family, including yourself. Count all of the shared experiences that have brought you laughs, tears, triumphs and pains. That is your family history. Hold on to it, learn from it and cherish it.
Third, Society is tearing down the importance of families and trying to redefine family and justify choices that are “just as good” for human development. Many common societal trends stem from, erroneous reporting of misconstrued studies or from one person’s opinion that spreads like wildfire and causes discouragement and damage. So, learn to be SAVVY CONSUMER OF FAMILY SCIENCE! Just because you heard an opinion, experienced a situation or heard a report, don’t accept it blindly. Look for true statistics about functional families. You can go back and review other posts in this blog for resources to learn how to take your family to the next level.
FAMILY, YOUR CHOICE
This week we looked at the topic of divorce. Consider who is affected by each marriage: spouses, their children, grandchildren and future generations. Also affected are each spouses’ siblings, parents and grandparents, their family, friends, and neighborhood, community circle and the world. The family is the building block of a functional thriving world. One marriage touches many lives.
MARRIAGE MYTH BUSTERS
Let’s consider just four myths you have probably heard.
NUMBER 1 MYTH: 50 % of marriages end in divorce. NOT TRUE! The divorce rate is much less. Why do people say this? Because studies do not distinguish between first marriage divorces and second, third, fourth marriage divorces. So, the same people get remarried and divorced at a much higher percentage than 50% and most people remain married in their first marriage.
The TRUTH is, people are more likely to divorce if they: have a child out of wed lock, marry before age 19, cohabitate before marriage, have low education, have lower income, are from certain ethnic backgrounds, they have been divorced themselves before, or they don’t practice religion.
NUMBER 2 MYTH: There is no way for a marriage to survive after an affair. NOT TRUE! 63% of married couples decide to save their marriage after an affair. AND they come back in full force with a stronger marriage. They realize what they didn’t do before and want to make it better. They recognize resources and skills they neglected before and implement them wholeheartedly.
NUMBER 3 MYTH: Most divorcees are glad they divorced. NOT TRUE! While some are glad and some are safer, the truth is 70% of couples who divorced report two years later that they wish they would have worked harder and should have and could have saved their marriage.
NUMBER 4 MYTH: There are only two choices: stay married miserably or get a divorce. NOT TRUE! The truth is that people who face great discouragement in life, often label discouragement in their marriage as part of it. The good news is 70 % of people who reported being unsatisfied in their marriage and CHOSE TO STAY MARRIED reported 5 years later that they now find their marriage very satisfying. So, there is the third option, stay married and learn and grow together. Everyone in your circle that is affected by your marriage can benefit. Including yourself.
MYTH BUSTING
If you would like to do some of your own myth busting, I recommend reading, “The Good News About Marriage: Debunking Discouraging Myths about Marriage and Divorce,” by Shaunti Feldhahn.
“Shaunti takes aim at marriage myths that have spread like a cancer through our culture–myths that have become self-fulfilling prophecies. This book is packed with game-changing revelations. Like this one: Not only are most people staying married, they are happy in their marriages!”
–Emerson Eggerichs, best-selling author of Love and Respect
This book reports about the successful families in our society! You are part of one of those families. Fight for it, fight for other families, be an advocate for marriage and family in your own marriage, your own family and within you circle of influence.
Here are some highlights from Feldhahn’s book:
Divorce is not the biggest threat to marriage. Discouragement is.
You’ve probably heard the grim facts: Half of all marriages end in divorce. The divorce rate inside the church is the same as outside. Most marriages are just holding on. But what if these “facts” are actually myths?
In The Good News About Marriage, best-selling author Shaunti Feldhahn presents groundbreaking research that reveals the shocking, incredibly inspiring truth:
· The actual divorce rate has never gotten close to 50 percent.
· Those who attend church regularly have a significantly lower divorce rate than those who don’t.
· Most marriages are happy.
· Simple changes make a big difference in most marriage problems.
For too long, our confidence in marriage has been undermined by persistent misunderstandings and imperfect data. This landmark book will radically change how we think and talk about marriage—and what we can dare to hope from it.
You’ve probably heard the grim facts: Half of all marriages end in divorce. The divorce rate inside the church is the same as outside. Most marriages are just holding on. But what if these “facts” are actually myths?
In The Good News About Marriage, best-selling author Shaunti Feldhahn presents groundbreaking research that reveals the shocking, incredibly inspiring truth:
· The actual divorce rate has never gotten close to 50 percent.
· Those who attend church regularly have a significantly lower divorce rate than those who don’t.
· Most marriages are happy.
· Simple changes make a big difference in most marriage problems.
For too long, our confidence in marriage has been undermined by persistent misunderstandings and imperfect data. This landmark book will radically change how we think and talk about marriage—and what we can dare to hope from it.
"...Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.
We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society."
We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society."
- The Family: A Proclamation to the World
Comments
Post a Comment